A little minor, worried vent here but tomorrow I have an appointment down at the mental health center. It's not a big deal...the therapist I see on occasion (who is not associated with the mental health center) said that it might be helpful to see a doctor who goes down to the center once a month, so that he can offer suggestions on possible changes for meds. Honestly, I have an almost pathological hatred for psychiatrists, mainly because I've had so many bad experiences with them. But he's supposed to be a "good" one so I'll give it a try.

The only glitch is that because he's associated with the mental health center I have to jump through their bureaucratic hoop and get an initial assessment with one of their social workers first...before I can see the shrink. To me this sounds rather silly, since I've been seeing my therapist for several years and she could easily send them her own assessment and save me a little trouble and money. But no, things aren't that simple; oh well. So I got an appointment tomorrow with one of the social workers and wouldn't you know? She's a social worker that I saw seven years ago when I was first diagnosed with the bipolar and ptsd. To put it mildly, this woman was not pleasant at all. In fact she was quite a royal bitch and made me second-guess my decision to seek help at that time. But luckily, I detached myself from the mental health center, found my current therapist and made some good, positive changes in my life. Even though I'm much different than I was at that time, seven years ago, I dread seeing her tomorrow but hopefully she's found a little peace in her heart and it will go well.

Which leads me to bring up an affirmation last night that had to do with not letting people have power over you or steal away your own personal power. When you feel vulnerable and hurt it can be very easy for people to lord over you, so to speak. There are people who may be feeling their own personal pain and see and easy mark to take out their frustrations on. There are people who are insecure and tear others down in order to build themselves up. Then again there are just some bad, cruel people out there. I know many of you reading can relate to the feelings of being vulnerable, powerless and unanchored. But if you take a moment to still your mind, still your fears, you will find that there is a lot of strength and personal power within you.

I suppose when I feel afraid and vulnerable, it is that wounded child within me who is hurt and abandoned, who is crying out for help...for the help that never came. Over the years in my life though, I've tried my best to reassure that child that all is well now. Sometimes the reassurance works and sometimes it doesn't, but life is filled with lessons and this is one of those lessons.

You know, many years ago, I had a similar experience with a less-than-caring social worker who'd I'd had the misfortune of seeing many years before that. I'd hoped she'd changed over the years, but she was still the same, uncaring, insensitive person she'd been, and it was really disheartening to see that. I sure hope you have much better success...

The visit to the Icefields was just fantastic, Angel. It was definitely an experience - both bizarre and wonderful at the same time... Just click my picture to read about it.

If you're up for a chuckle, you could always visit the Tree, as Manic Monday was posted earlier. If nothing else, maybe it will make you smile a little.

I like what you said about taking time to find stillness and centeredness within; it's so important to do that on a regular basis, especially when we know we have to face people who seem to be determined to belittle us and make us feel like we don't matter...

I hope everything goes well for you today, my friend. When you get back from your appointment, I hope you'll share your experience...

To get into social work school you need a below average IQ and bad social skills.
Yes, I want to be your friend !

HEY, I'm a Social Worker! Not All Social Workers are bad... I dont think I was bad when I was working....hummm maybe I was bad, maybe just being a social worker by nature is bad...oh dear now I will worry about the the people who may have experienced insensitivity at my hands...gosh I hope not. Anyway hope this all turns out well for you and if you need to talk you know where I am

You know, what really irritates me is, that so many people tell you to get help and when you finally decide to get it, bureaucracy makes it almost impossible to go through with it. I'm glad it's not that complicated in Switzerland. I wish you all the best and that the 'bitch' will be nice and helpful to you.